One of the things that keeps most people on a path of growth is recognizing their expansive freedom of choice. As we get more and more in touch with our infinite nature we realize that at any moment we can choose who/what/where we want to be and start taking actions and making more choices to get us closer to that desire. In our zest for infinite freedom though, we often limit others.
Do you allow the people in your life to experience joy, freedom and success on their terms? Or do you define what you ‘think’ is best for them and as a result limit them to your beliefs and desires? Are you allowing others the freedom of choice that we all deserve?
While it is true that we all have the freedom of choice, and can say yes or no to whatever someone has presented, we will all attract much better relationships if we approach other’s needs with compassion and allowing them to express their desires. It is in allowing another to truly be who they are that we embrace them as infinite beings just like ourselves – and true deliberate creators, manifesting from a point of choice.
While compassion can help us to understand where another person is, it can also help us to limit them. In seeking to understand another’s point of view, there is often a knee jerk reaction to then help them, or make choices for them, based on what you would want if you felt the same. Why does this happen? Perhaps it is from what we are taught with the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would like them do unto you.
This approach puts you in the driver’s seat and you choose what you feel is best for someone based on what you want. I feel that true compassion is best expressed when you reach for another level; when you seek to understand and become aware of another’s point of view and then offer them choices. Instead of the Golden Rule, work with the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would like done unto themselves.
For example, someone close to you may be in need of support. For many of us, our first inclination is to respond how we would want to be treated. Maybe we prefer alone time to reflect and go within, and so we choose to distance ourselves to give the other space. However, our friend may need to be surrounded by love and wants us even closer. By choosing what we felt was best for them; we have limited them to our beliefs and needs.
Four magic words can lead you to encouraging the freedom of choice and infiniteness in others. Actually there are many combinations of four words that will do. The next time you think you know what is best for someone, ask one of these questions and unlock the possibilities for their joy to flow:
What do you need?
How can I help?
What do you want?
What do you desire?
Can I do anything?
What can I do?
Is there anything more?
What’s your biggest dream?
What makes you happy?
What are your needs?
Keep probing until you really get to the root of what they need or want and then encourage them to make choices that will create it.
Allow others, and yourself, to deliberately create the life of their dreams – or the moment of joy for right now – based on the freedom of choosing what is right for the individual by their standards, not by someone else’s.
© 2009, Lena Salonikas. www.livinginattraction.com. You may reprint and distribute this article in its entirety provided that all contact information, attribution and links are kept intact. If you use this article, please send an e-mail to contact@livinginattraction.com stating when and where it will be posted.
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Interesting perspective! I quess I didn’t really consider the other individual’s choices as I was intending to assist them with a conflict. Now when an opportunity arises when another is experiencing contrast, I will offer them the variety of four words to aid in their own clarity.
Thanks for the article Lena!!!
Liza